The cocktail world is coming full-circle. After more than a decade of pushing back against the simple, trashy drinks of yesteryear, filling our glasses with hand-crafted tinctures and artisanal spirits, craft-minded folks seem to once again be embracing the kitsch of the ’70s and ’80s and putting their own spin on it. With the return of the fern bar in Brooklyn and David Wondrich and Jeff Morgenthaler penning think-pieces on the trend, we may well be in the midst of another micro-fad that eschews fancy amari in favor of Galliano. What better time, then, to revisit a hallmark of tawdry drinking: the Long Island Iced Tea.
What’s in a Long Island Iced Tea?
When it comes to the Long Island, the ingredients pretty much speak for themselves. Vodka, gin, rum, and tequila make up the base spirits (it’s a rundown of the standard well bottles, which is a good indicator of just how much TLC went into the recipe in the first place), and are then rounded out with triple sec, lemon juice, simple syrup, and a splash of cola. If you really want to stay true to the “classic” formula, you can replace the lemon juice and syrup with some preservative-rich bottled sour mix.
So yes, it’s not the most epicurean—or even really appetizing—drink in the world. It resembles something a high schooler would concoct at a boozy soda fountain more than it does anything from the Savoy Cocktail Book. But when we hear people ask, “Why would you ever order a Long Island Iced Tea?” we feel like it’s a pretty disingenuous question.
The answer is simple: it goes down easy, it’ll get you drunk, and you don’t have to spend five minutes nosing the bouquet before you can drink the damn thing. As much as we love ourselves a good craft cocktail, it’s true that the culture can get a bit full of itself. The swing of the pendulum back towards drinks that don’t take themselves very seriously (at least to the limited extent that it has swung at all) seems like a reasonable reaction to that perceived snobbiness—though there’s almost certainly an air of irony to the whole thing as well.
How to Make a Long Island Iced Tea
Regardless of why it’s become popular again, we’re left with two schools of thought when it comes to this drink. On one side, you have people who think the recipe should stick to the well booze, staying as far away from craft adornments as possible. These are the folks who enjoy a good Negroni or Manhattan, but when they head down to their local dive they try not to put on airs—there’s a time and a place for canned beer and a shot.
On the other side, you have those who think these old standards deserve a bit more care, and make attempts to elevate the Long Island Iced Tea recipe despite the drink’s stubborn refusal to cooperate. It’s a noble endeavor, but one that almost always ends in disappointment, as there simply aren’t a ton of good ways to combine vodka, gin, rum, and tequila.
Regardless, since there’s not much we can say about the traditional method other than “make it with whatever,” we’ll touch a bit on what you can do to bring it up to speed with the rest of the 21st century.
The Spirits
Rather than going through the base spirits one by one (as that probably gives the Long Island a little too much credit), we’ll simply say that the best thing to do here is go at least a step above the well. You don’t want to use your top-shelf stuff, as it’s going to be drowned in a sea of competing flavors, but sticking with spirits that come in a glass bottle will certainly be sufficient to make your cocktail more palatable.
Stolichnaya or Smirnoff vodka, Beefeater or Citadelle gin, Espolon Blanco or Cazadores Blanco tequila, and Mount Gay Silver or Cruzan Aged Light Rum all run under $30 and make for a decent combination—not for any great subtleties that their interactions bring out, but because they’re each individually a lot more palatable than the usual suspects.
The Triple Sec
Our go-to triple sec is always going to be Cointreau. You may be hesitant to use something so relatively pricey in a drink like the Long Island, but you don’t need much and it really does make a difference. If you’re really feeling stingy, though, feel free to use a standard bottle like Bols. Just don’t say we didn’t warn you.
The Lemon Juice and Simple Syrup
Citrus, as always, should be squeezed fresh, and you can whip up some homemade simple syrup in about five minutes. This is where a lot of the grossness of a traditional Long Island Iced tea comes in, as it generally calls for pre-made sour mix that’s cloying and overpowering. While that’s kind of the point (namely, to cover up the flavors of the bottom-shelf booze), if you’re going to spend a little extra on the spirits you might as well take a little extra time to not ruin them entirely.
The Cola
Just use Coke. It’s not that hard.
Once you’ve gathered your ingredients, you’ll be ready to mix up a true American classic—well, classic like Guns N’ Roses, not Ernest Hemingway. And as you sit down on the porch to take that first sip, reminiscing on your college days or the coke-fueled nightclubs of the ’70s, just remember that sometimes, it’s okay to forgo the shrubs and artisanal bitters in favor of something a little more casual.
Get the Long Island Iced Tea Recipe
Photo: Wikipedia
